After all these years, I’ve decided to come forward and clean my slate. Today, I lay my cards on the table to tell you that after almost 10 years, I find myself back to that moment in time when you were mine and I was yours.
Our relationship was simple, pure, and innocent, I would have given you my all. I wanted to, but you betrayed me. You hurt me. I put up a strong demeanor, but it broke me. I wanted you to come back, I wanted you to make it right.
And after a couple of years, you did. You came back, but I didn’t give in. I know that I lost my chance. It is one of my biggest regrets. Now years later, I can’t live with myself. I can’t be completely happy.
I’ve succeeded in other areas of my life…college, work, career, etc. But, it’s not enough I’m missing you. I’ve reached out to you time and time again. Every time I followed my instinct and it happens to be in a time when you are going through something. I swear by my instinct feelings. I knew when you lost your first baby girl. No one told me, I felt the pain and then I found out. I felt the same gut feeling when you went through those tough times with Julia, and then again when you were at the hospital from your accident at work. I’ve always felt connected to you. I can’t even explain it.
Crazy, I know. Stupid, maybe.
But, I can’t escape the thought of you. I’m always wondering how you are, what you’re doing, if you’re happy, if things are going your way, and if you even think of me. I swear I dream of you at least 3 times a week. I wake up and realize that it’s not real. I realize that you are not with me.
I want your kisses, your hugs, your sweet love. I miss it. I miss it all. And even though you’ve got two little ones, I don’t care. I would love them as my own, because they are your everything.
Just tell me you feel the same and I promise to leave everything behind just for you. You’re my happiness. And, if I am too late, I understand. I will back off entirely. I will let you be happy. I just need to hear it from you. Tell me baby, that you still love me like I love you.
I’ve never stopped loving you RRM ❤