Tied Down and Liberated

I can feel the changes I am making. I am happier and doing better at work. A lot more conversations are happening between my corporate team and I. It’s pretty awesome. I finally feel I am part of the team and that the team actually likes me.

My personality is reviving itself. I has suppressed it for so many years. I had become an introvert, even though it’s not in my nature. But now, I’m feeling good. I’m feeling like me.

Of course, just like anything else you don’t like it. I must be “cheating” and “sleeping with someone else” because I’m actually happy. You don’t like the idea of me being my own person. You want me to be like you, but guess what. I DON’T WANT TO.

Now I have to pretend I’m someone else when I come home to you. I am two different persons everyday. Why do I subject myself to this? Yes, this must stop.

Yesterday, I finally voiced my mind out and I proceeded to be naturally me. And of course, you take everything offensively. You have to make a huge deal over something so tiny. I keep thinking to myself, why am I still in a relationship with you? Ok, so I know the damn house lease and current financial situation. Other than that, I pretty much would have walked out already.

I feel liberated but tied down at the same time.

My mind is full of you

I am back to thinking of you all the time again. I keep thinking about how after all this time you still have my thoughts and my heart. I talked about you to someone recently and I can’t get rid of the butterflies in my stomach. I dialed your number today. I wanted you to answer. I want to hear your voice. I hope you return my call. I hope you know it’s me that called.

I wish for you to be thinking of me.