Back to Square One

I haven’t blogged in a while and I know it doesn’t really matter, because no one actually reads this. Anyway, I’ve been having a hard time with myself. I broke down and finally spoke up. I said what I’ve been holding back for so long. I didn’t think that I could ever say all the things that go through my head without being judged or even believed. I know that I am a very emotional person, even dramatic, but this time it was real for me. I was reaching for a hand – for help. I don’t know if I am just terribly confused about everything and experiencing a blurred version of what is truly real. However, the emotions and thoughts that happen inside of me proof me wrong each and every day. Yes, I feel like this. Yes, I don’t understand it.

I really don’t want to go to a psychiatrist. I really don’t. Maybe it’ll be better?

My struggles are so intertwined with these negative thoughts that I just am at a loss of words.